calls from the couch

I’m pretty sure I just heard Obed fall out of bed.

And I’m pretty sure it would take blood curtling screams for me to go check it out.

Today has been one of those days, (which honestly feels like… a  lot of days… many days… most days) when I’m on my last thread of patience.  And at multiple points during the day, that last thread meets its end and I am left with no patience.  I’m mainly surviving, not thriving, and trying semi successfully to stay above water.

That was today.  And other days this week.

I don’t have a story to tell tonight.  No funny antidote that made the day salvageable that I can tell about.  I just have me, sitting on the couch, end of day, no energy.  I have no ambition to pick up toys.  There’s a napkin on the floor by the dining room table that I’m pretty darn sure will still be there in the morning.  Obed’s chair is filled with left over pancakes that was supper tonight.  That will still be there tomorrow too.  Dang, we need a dog.

Jeff is gone again tonight.  My least favorite nights.  I got four kids in pajamas.  Technically, two kids in pajamas.  One kid I had to coach, one kid just did it on their own.  Made them pick up all the books strewn across the bedroom floor which were making it impossible to walk.  “MAMA WHY DO YOU MAKE US ALWAYS PICK EVERYTHING UP??”  Because I’m the meanest of mothers.  Made every single one brush their teeth amidst howls of protest and “WHY DO WE HAVE TO BRUSH OUR TEETH EVERY NIGHT??”  Oh the horror.  I did manage one story, because today is Good Friday and you kind of have to read the story.  Shortest prayer ever.  Every one gets a kiss.

Questions start.  “When will Daddy be home?  Will he snuggle us when he gets home?  Can I call Daddy?”

“Ok only one more question.”

I don’t even remember the question.  It was probably about Daddy.

“OK that was the last question.  No more questions.”

My parting words… “Obed, DO NOT get out of bed.”

Light off.  Door shut.  Downstairs, fall on the couch.

That’s it.

This is just me venting.  It really serves no purpose and I probably sound like I’m whining, which I am.  I’m worn out and tired.  I’m not even going to post this on Facebook.  If you’re reading this, it’s because you must truly find my blog interesting and have checked to see if I’ve posted anything.  Bless you, my One Faithful Reader, bless you.

Good night.

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And All the Angels Sang

Tonight my heart sang like I’m pretty sure angels in heaven sing their praises.

Today Ava asked me if she could get baptized.  (this in itself was not what made my heart sing, as good of a thing that is…)  This question by Ava was a little surprising since a few months ago Ava had said she didn’t ever want to get baptized because it seemed scary and she didn’t want to get wet.  So when she brought it up this afternoon, I wondered what had changed.  She then asked what happens when you get baptized and could we watch a video of someone getting baptized?  So we looked up a YouTube video.  You never know what will come up when you search YouTube, but I clicked on a safe looking video.  We watched a few minutes and that was it.

Tonight at dinner she brought up getting baptized again.  We talked about it some more.

“Ava, you get baptized after you’ve asked Jesus into your heart and to forgive your sins.  Have you done that?”

“Yes!”

“When did you ask Him into your heart?”

She thought really hard for a minute and you could tell she was having a hard time.  I started to wonder if she had actually made this step on her own or if it was just something that she’s heard over and over.

“Weeellll, I can’t remember the exact day, but one day while I was still six, I was standing by the window and I just prayed!  I asked Jesus to come into my heart and he forgave my sin.  I was six and a half, like I am now.  I was standing by this window right here just looking outside and I prayed.”

And then I knew that she really had.  Because I don’t remember the exact day either, but I remember my five year old self and I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing and what I prayed.  Thirty two years later, I still remember all of that.  And if she could tell me where she was and what she was doing, then it wasn’t just an idea that she’s heard over and over.  She’s really asked Jesus into her heart for herself.

And the truth is, over the past while, I’ve seen a change in Ava.  While she’s far from perfect, she’s changed in a way that I honestly just the other day wondered about.  At the time I thought maybe she’s just growing up, maybe all my prayers for a better attitude have finally been answered!  Because her attitude has changed…. thank you Jesus!

“And Mom, I used to be afraid to get baptized, but that was before I prayed.  Now I’m still a little scared, but not that scared at all.”

This, friends, is one of the best days of my whole life.  That my kids would choose to for themselves to follow Jesus, to recognize their need for a Savior and desire eternal life, to know His voice and choose to obey it… this is truly my greatest heart desire for my kids.

And so tonight my heart (and my eyes) burst with tears of joy knowing that one has chosen Him.  And now my prayers will change for Ava that she would walk close with Jesus all the days of her life.

Amen!