Peanuts and Noses

“Mom, we have to take Oakley to the nose doctor.”

Half distracted I looked down at Ava.  “What?”

“Oakley needs to go to the nose doctor.”

“Why would he need to do that?”

“He stuck a peanut up his nose.”  WHAT?!?!

“OAKLEY!”

Sure enough, there stuck in Oakley’s right nostril, barely visible, was a peanut.  He was giggling the whole time and before I could do anything, he shoved his finger up his nose.  “Aaaahhhhh!  Oakley!  Don’t do that!”  Too late, the damage was done.  I couldn’t even see the peanut anymore.

I plugged Oakley’s left nostril.  Blow hard Baby.  Oakley is really good at blowing his nose and he blew hard, but nothing came out.  Next step, call the doctor.  I was quickly seeing where our afternoon was heading.

After leaving a message with the doctor, an hour later I got a call back, basically saying we had to go the the ER or an urgent care.  My assessment of the situation was that we probably would require more care than the urgent care providers could provide so we headed to the ER.

It is unfortunate that we are so familiar with the hospital.  The whole way over, Ava kept telling Oakley that they have snacks!  He would get to play with toys!  You can watch a movie!  “Ava!  Stop that!  Stop telling Oakley he’s going to get a snack… there are no snacks at the ER.”  Then she started in with “Oaks, are you scared?  It can be scary.  You’ll probably have to get a poke.”  Ava, STOP!

We arrive at the ER.  It’s pretty slow at 1:00 in the afternoon.  We get checked in.  I’m sure we look a bit odd.  Nobody is crying.  Nobody looks sick.  Nope, just a peanut in the nose.

We see the physician assistant fairy quickly.  She brings in this gigantic pair of tweezers and I’m thinking “That is NOT going to work.  That sucker is up there way too far.”  Sure enough, on to plan B.

Plan B, apparently, is for Oakley to lay on a bed, arms held down.  I am to plug his nostril and put my mouth over his nose and mouth and suck.

Yes.

I kid you not, that is what they told me to do.  I must have given the lady a very strange look because she then said, “And I’ll call ENT.”  Well five minutes later, here’s Oakley on a bed, arms held down and I’m sucking on his nose.  He giggles… because apparently having your mother suck on your nose isn’t as unpleasant as it sounds?!?!  This makes the nurses giggle.  I’m not really giggling.

That was gross.  And it produced no peanut.  So I call that an epic fail.

“Huh…. that usually works.” said the doctor.  REALLY??!!

Apparently the ER has exhausted their options and they are now sending us over to the Ear, Nose and Throat people.

Obed is getting ready for his afternoon nap.  He’s getting pretty fussy.  Somewhere between the ER and the skyway to ENT, I lost his paci.  Oh this is not good.  He’s refusing to ride in the stroller so here I am, carrying a crying baby, pushing a stroller, telling Oakley to hurry up and Ava to slow down and wait for the rest of us.  I am starting to get a little frustrated with the entire situation at this point.

We arrive at the ENT office.  While the ER nurse said she called to let them know we are coming, the ENT nurse does not know we are coming.  Luckily, ENT is pretty quiet at 1:45 in the afternoon too.

Oakley climbs up into the examination chair and just sits there like a big boy.  He has not fussed once.  The ENT doctor lays out our options.  She has two tricks to try before we’ll have to just put him him under to get the peanut out.  First up, some sort of nasty something-or-another on a cotton swap gets shoved up his nose.  She said it will make his mouth taste bad.  The peanut is already causing swelling so this will help with that as well as numb the area.

First try: suction.  The suction fails.

Second try: A very tiny pick to try and pry it out.  Oakley is being a pretty good sport.  He tilts his head back.  The peanut moves!  After a couple minutes, I swear the largest peanut in the whole bag of trailmix emerges from Oakley’s nose.  Seriously, that thing was HUGE.  Either it really was huge, or it just looked huge because it was coming out of his nose.  Either way,  the peanut is out!

“Now Oakley,” the doctor says.  “No more peanuts up your nose ok?  No beads, beans, rocks, peas, or fingers either.  Deal?’

Oakley gives her his sweet smile.  “O-tay!”

And off the chair he goes, out the door and we’re on our way home.  I thought about taking the peanut with us, but no, that’s gross.

We had a successful trip the the dentist this morning, which I thought would be our excitement for the day.  No.  Peanuts and noses made for more excitement than one day should have.

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