We live in an old house. Like 1920’s old. I love it. I’ve always loved old houses… the architecture, the character, the details that you don’t find in modern homes, I love it all. And finally having an old house to call my own is the best. I even love the creaky floors… the downstairs creaky floors. I detest the upstairs creaky floors. This morning I was cursing them.
3:00 am. Ava awakes. It’s been a rough go around here this week with night time wake ups. Ava is back on a fairly hefty dose of steroids and someone once told Jeff being on steroids for him was like having a constant caffeine drip. And so it seems true with Ava this time around. She wakes up at least three times a night, with the last wake up being early in the morning and hard to fall back asleep. So back to 3:00 am. Ava awakes. Jeff has gotten up with her the last two times so it’s my turn now. Ava is big into having her legs rubbed lately so I sit on a little stool by her bed and massage her achy legs. She is sleeping within 15 minutes. I exit… only to be foiled by the creak. Ava wakes back up crying. And so I sit back down and start the process over. 45 minutes later and 3 attempts to leave the room have me about at my wits end. I just want to go back to bed! This time I try just sitting in the hall where Ava can see me. The steroid induced crazy that has emerged won’t have any of that. So Jeff gets up and takes over.
4:00 am. At this point Oakley as awoken. He’s hungry. So I stumble downstairs to make him a bottle. He drinks the whole thing and is back to sleep. Jeff is still sitting with Ava and I feel guilty. Plus, I’m enough awake by this point that I know falling back asleep will be difficult for me. Jeff however can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I kind of loath that quality about him. He says he just counts numbers. I’ve tried that, I get bored after about 25. Anyway, I tell Jeff he might as well go back to bed because I won’t be able to sleep anyway. So he does.
4:30 am. Oh I’m tired, but that damned floor is not allowing my exit. At this particular time of morning, irrational thoughts abound. I’m ready to call Home Depot as soon as they open to have someone come rip out our original, beautiful (if it was sanded and refinished) hardwood and put down new subfloor and carpet. Oh for just a bit of hushed sneaking out to my own bed.
4:45 am. Ava’s toddler bed is looking pretty inviting. So I crawl in with her. This she loves.
6:30 am. I awake. Can I feel my arm? No, no I don’t think I can.
7:15 am. Ava awakes. “Mama, I don’t think my bed is big enough.” No, no it is not. My 5’10” frame was not ment to curl into a 48″ long bed made for children ages 5 and under. In the shower I’m thinking “Nobody told me this is what parenting entails. This is why people have kids in their 20’s. I’m too old for this!”