Welcome Aboard…Babies-R-Us

One night a few weeks ago, Jeff and I decided that since we’re having a baby, perhaps it would be a good idea to become acclimated with the items a baby requires.  Where else would we find such items but Babies-R-Us.  So we hop in our very baby-unfriendly Mini Cooper and to Babies-R-Us we go.

We pull into the parking lot with great anticipation.  We’re sure cute and cuddly things await us.  If we had only known…

As we enter we pause a moment to decide which direction to go.  Wouldn’t it be a good idea to just make a big loop around the store? I suggest.  One would think so, so we take a right and enter the Infant section.  A great starting point since all babies start out as an infant anyway, right?  However, the Infant section begins with a whole wall, floor to ceiling, of bottles and bottle paraphernalia.  There are bottles of every shape, size and color.  Some are BHA free, some touting other “Free Of” properties.  I don’t even know what BHA is, but obviously it must be something terrible that could possibly make your baby grow a third eye.  We notice 8 different types of bottle brushes, 12 diffent nipple tops… on and on it goes.    I see Jeff swallow hard.  A vein is beginning to stick out in his neck.  “Do babies in China need all this stuff??”  Uhhh, I don’t think so.  I can tell Jeff is becoming quickly overwhelmed.  He gets cranky when he’s overwhelmed.   A cranky husband in Babies-R-Us is not good.  Lets move on.

After a quick perusal of the remaining Infant section we move onto Strollers.  Holy smokes, who knew there were so many types.  Big ones with every bell and whistle imaginable, medium size ones and little tiny ones.  Some even have cup holders!  I notice prices.  Geez luise, some of these things are like buying a used car!  It’s now my turn to become overwhelmed.  I’m trying to imagine pushing some of these monstrocities through a crowded festival or the mall.  Or even the task of getting it out of the trunk and setting it up.

Car Seat section is next and the process repeats itself.  As we continue through the store we are quickly realizing three things.  One: we have no idea what we’re doing; two: we have no idea what one does with half of the things in this store; and three: we definitely have not allocated enough money to purchase the said items that we’re not sure we need anyway.  By the time we make it out the door, we’re exhausted, cranky and irritable.

Upon further reflection, having never been to Babies-R-Us before, perhaps we should have taken a veteran-ed Babies-R-Us shopper with us….

Thinking we had learned our lesson, we return to Babies-R-Us a couple weeks later.  This time we are armed with Consumer Reports found at the library and a plan.  Will the second time around treat us better??

Tune in again to find out….

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2 thoughts on “Welcome Aboard…Babies-R-Us

  1. Janell…you are so funny. I love you. I also love reading your blog, but it always makes me wish you were sitting next to me telling the story. However, I do have a clear picture of you at the store and it makes me giggle.
    I also want to remind you that you have several friends who just had babies (or friends who have plenty of familiarity with baby stuff…wink,wink) to seek out advice from on baby items. They might be more fun to consult than just the consumer reports. 🙂

  2. We had this exact same experience when I was pregnant with Elijah. Exactly…. completely and totally. Wall to the right with the baby bottles, the whole nine yards. I think I may have cried (because that is what I do when I get overwhelmed). :0)

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