Monday started out with anticipation right from the get-go. You know the kind… you wake up with little butterflies in your stomach itching for the day to progress. To set the scene, I have just gotten back to New Orleans from my three week Christmas vacation to the “North”; it’s my first day in my new role of being semi-unemployed… and still living in a camper. (Spending the whole day in a 200 sq ft space is not my idea of an exciting life).
It was also the day of our big ultrasound… the one where you find out the sex of the baby and if it’s developing as it should. As this pregnancy was not something I was expecting, it’s taken a while for me to become intrigued with the idea of being a parent, so finding out if I will be the mother of a boy or girl was a big deal. Perhaps it will help me bond with the baby is my thought.
If you have never had the opportunity to visit an OBGYN office while pregnant, here’s the biggest thing to remember… you have to pee in a cup EVERY TIME. I hate peeing in a cup. The pressure to preform like that on demand just gets to me; I freeze up and I can’t go. And what if you miss? It’s not like you can really see what’s going on down there. Sample gone, literally down the toilet, not be be recovered for some unknown period of time. And then the humiliation of having to come out empty handed. It’s enough to cause someone a stress ulcer. Anyway, all this I learned after the first visit, during which I wasn’t aware of the peeing-in-the-cup requirement. I had dutifully used the restroom prior to the appointment and as such, had nothing left to give. Sitting in the restroom trying to convince yourself to go when you can’t is no fun… especially when you know they are waiting for you on the other side. That, I decided, would never happen again. At each proceeding appointment, I’ve made it a point to drink 1 whole bottle of water immediately before the appointment so I’ll be good and ready when the time comes. This process has worked well thus far. Until Monday.
I have dutifully finished my bottle of water and am waiting for my name to be called. “Hirschoff!”… Uhh, usually they call “Janell” so I’m thrown off for a minute but then realize, Hey, that’s me! I head through the door anticipating the request for the said sample. But no… alas they have changed things up on me. Instead of heading to the standard exam room, they are going to do the ultrasound first. Oh no is my thought. I have a bladder full of sample that I’m not about to give up without request. So off to the ultrasound we go, full bladder and all.
Again, if you’ve never been through this experience, here’s the deal. They like to get good pictures of all the parts of the baby. Which means that if the baby isn’t positioned well, they poke and prod at it to get it to move. Unfortunately, my little tike apparently doesn’t like to have it’s picture taken because there was lots of poking and proding going on. Geez people! My bladder has already been squished down to the size of a walnut because of a growing baby and now there’s poking going on. Walnut sized bladders, 1 whole bottle of water, a wiggly baby and poking do not mix well together. I’m trying to focus on what the lady is saying but most of my concentration is taken up with focusing on keeping my bladder contents in place. Besides, nothing on the screen resembles anything recognizable to me. “Here’s the liver” “Here’s the kidney” “Here’s it’s legs”. I see nothing but gray and black blobs that look nothing like legs, arms or kidneys. Had she scanned a bit more to the left, I’m fairly certain she would have seen my bladder bursting at the seams, about to explode. Alarms would have gone off and she would have had some mercy on me. Not the case, but apparently though everything is fine with the baby. It’s perfect they tell us.
The ultra sound ends and it’s off the the routine exam room. Finally, relief is in sight. At this point I could probably give five samples if I’d been asked. Only one is required, but I use the restroom 3 times before leaving the office. How embarrassing.
Thus the start of my day.
And in case you’re wondering… they say it’s a girl 🙂